Atwater-Donnelly

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JULY-OCTOBER 2000
DEFINITIONS

I remember as a child, how I would sometimes wake up suddenly, having dreamt that I had committed a crime. How well I also remember the feeling of relief when I realized I'd been dreaming.

Back then, I wanted to invent some sins for confession in order to make my life seem less dull and void of interest to the priest. Although, I did lie to him: "disobeyed my mother" here, "swore a little" there; it just wasn't in me to do something worthy of prison; my sense of right and wrong was seemingly seamless.

We all have our own definitions of right and wrong; don't we? I bet if we were able to view everyone's notions of right and of wrong, we'd find some things in other's bags that we wouldn't have in our own; and of course, we'd also discover some things missing.

Yet, in those dreams, it was never really clear what I had done; in fact, that seemed less significant compared to the point that whatever it was, it had certainly destroyed my life. There was no going back, too bad, all over.

Somehow, as time went by and life became more complicated, it also became easier to make poor decisions that have lasting effects. I don't worry that I'll break any civil laws and spend time in jail; but I do wonder sometimes what thing will I do in my life that I'll most regret.

Peace,
Elwood


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